How do I describe my feelings, my utmost respect, and my love for a relationship that took more than four decades to develop? MaanJi inspired, influenced and guided my life and changed its course for ever. In the last few weeks of her life, Maanji often called me and left many messages among them Prabodh beta, this is your mummy speaking, or Malhotra beta, mein aap ki Mata ji bol rahi hoon. These messages full of her motherly love will now be cherished forever.
When Bhojani uncle organized a kirtan at our place in the early 1980s, we were introduced to The Pande Family, Dr Singh family and the Rewal family. Our relationship with all three families is still maintained. In those days, Melbourne did not have many Indians. Thus, no Hindu temples or Sikh gurudwaras in Melbourne. Every Saturday, we used to gather at Pande Ji’s house in Clayton. Pande Ji’s satsang about the scriptures would be followed by MaanJi’s kirtan. Her deep knowledge of Hindustani classical music and her willingness to share it with others, made MaanJi very popular. Wherever in Melbourne when there is kirtan today, its roots could be traced back to Maanji. The Hindu community in Melbourne is indebted to the Pande family especially Maanji for keeping alive our traditional values and our ancient culture. It is great to see that with her active involvement in classical dance, Anu is equally committed to maintaining those values.
My interest in kirtan and learning how to play the harmonium resulted in countless visits to Clayton to learn from Maanji. By God’s grace, the role she began as my guru later changed to that of a mother, especially, after the loss of my mother in 1996 in Footscray hospital. I was honoured to know that Maanji used to teach music to Radha, the granddaughter of the Late Shri Hanuman Prasad Poddar of Gita Press, Gorakhpur.
In the late 1980s, my younger brothers, a couple of friends and I formed the Durga Bhajan Mandali to do Durga Jagrans and Chowkis. Many times, we did All night Durga Jagran and Chowki at Maanji’s house. After Pande ji’s demise in 2003, the kirtans picked up pace. We often did 24-hour or 12-hour Akhand Kirtan at Clayton. Later however, as Maanji got older, the weekly kirtan changed to once-a-month event. The 4-hour kirtan on the last Saturday of the month was interrupted by Covid19 and was never rescheduled as a regular monthly activity, primarily due to Maanji’s focus shifting inwards, her health challenges and advancing age.
For many years, Maanji and I telephoned each other daily, sometimes even two or three times a day. Maanji would advise on devotional songs, kirtan but also other aspects of life. We often discussed politics in India. She was a huge fan of Modiji. However, in her later years, she became more and more introvert and began to withdraw from external activities. Our phone calls became less frequent and often one sided. She would ring when she wanted to talk to me. But she would not pick up the phone, when I rang. She often expressed her readiness to ‘go’ and reduced her diet to absolute minimum. She was preparing herself to reunite with Ram JI and finally she did on Monday, 24 June.
I wouldn’t be doing justice if I didn’t share some lighter moments. Maanji was a keen grower of fresh vegies in her backyard. The trouble was for example, she would pull out 4-5 Chinese radish and insist that I come or send someone to collect them the same afternoon while they were fresh. I went a couple of times and turned the opportunity into a music lesson. But often I would ask Shekhar to go and collect them so that she was happy. The consideration wasn’t the monetary value but to support her love and passion to grow fresh vegies that kept her active.
Maanji had a couple of lemon trees in her back yard. Every year she would make lots of lemon pickle and label bottles with names of the people who she was going to give it to. When we came for the kirtan, those bottles would be sitting in the kitchen waiting for us. As she got older, she couldn’t continue to make pickle. One day she rang me while I was on my morning walk. She said, Malhotra beta, mere paas thode nimbu hain. Aap aake lejaana ya Shekhar ko bhej dena. On that day, we happen to walk around the Brighton Beach area. I told her that Shekhar and I would be there in 15-20 minutes. She said, the lemons would be outside her front door. She requested not to be disturbed. When Shekhar went to front door, two boxes full of lemons awaited us. We couldn’t do anything but to bring them home. I had to call on google university for a crash course on lemon pickle. Thanks to Maanji’s implicit teaching method, I quickly learned how to make lemon pickle and share with others.
About 15-16 years ago, I took Maanji on a pilgrimage. With a view to start with the world-famous Lath maar Holi at Barsana, we flew to Delhi. After a couple of days rest, we were invited to have dinner with Prof. VK Ohri of Delhi University. When we arrived at his house, Maanji fell sick and started vomiting followed by loose motions. Instead of having dinner, we spent the evening at the doctor’s where Maanji received eight bottles of glucose. Next morning we were scheduled to proceed to Barsana. The doctor said that she was too weak to travel and we should wait for a few days. But in her own style Maanji said, Dr Sahib, hum to Australia se aaye hi isi liye hain. Subah to har halat Barsana jayenge, wahan par jake mar bhi gayi to koi baat nahin.
We went to Barsana, participated in the Lathmar Holi, did the Goverdhana Parikarma, went to Vrindavan, Haridwar, Rishikesh, and NeelKanth Mahadev. In Himachal Pardesh, we went to Devi Darshan at Chintapurni, Jwaala Ji, Kangra Devi, Chamunda Devi, Mansa Devi and Naina Devi before crossing over into J&K and visit the Shrine of Mata Vaishno Devi. We used the ponies for the 13 Kms climb. Maanji sat on a pony for the first and the last time. Initially, she was scared but we made it there and back. We visited many places including Golden Temple, Jalianwala Bagh at Amritsar. Maanji was blessing me and thanking me for taking her to all these places in India. I was thanking Lord Krishna for choosing me as the medium and giving me the opportunity to accompany such a pious soul.
Maanji thank you so much for everything you did for me. A big thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being part of my life. O Indumati Pande, Mother India must be very proud to have you as a child who spread her message through everyone you touched. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti!
by Dr Prabodh Malhotra
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